Raising Expectations. Self Reflection.

A long time since my last post, and boy.. things have changed.

As I write this I prepare for yet another adventure "on the road".
Tomorrow mid-day we shall travel in car from Barcelona to Amsterdam, making a pitstop in France for the night.
To be honest I'm not rather excited, I would've liked to spend a bit more time in Spain, doing the things
I really like doing; wondering around the city with Felipe, going for sushi, dancing the night away (nights and nights in a row) etc.
However, the thought of going back kind of excites me.. I'll be spending time with my old Dutch friends in Amsterdam until January 3rd, and the 4th I head back down South to reunite with my college friends to start the year off with dinner and drinks at my place so we can share Christmas stories..

As much as I appreciate movies, there is one thing I have discovered to dislike. Movies raise expectations. They make events, objects, people, anything really, look so wonderful that the real life moment of the certain thing is rather disappointing.
This happens with me and Christmas every single year. I have raised expectations (think of typical American movie Christmas Dinner's, snow all around, happiness, Big Big Christmas trees, Tons of presents etc.)
I'm not saying my Christmas wasn't wonderful, because I've appreciated every moment of it.. but it really isn't anything like it could be.

Furthermore I'm disappointed in myself as a person. Please excuse the negativeness (once again) in this post, but realize how when the end of the year is approaching self reflection is needed. Hence, this post will serve as a self-reflection..
As I moved to Holland, I promised myself I would not step away from my true self.. and I feel like I did. I've hurt someone that was, and still is, a very special person in my life. Even though we are still on good terms, my heart breaks little by little when thinking of how things could've been like. I do know now that things like these will never happen again. Never again will I act so selfishly for the sake of adventure, pleasure, self-discovery, or any other excuse there might have been for my behavior..
I am glad that I've been taught a bit more about myself.
Sometimes I wish we could allow someone to read our thoughts, because sometimes it feels like true thoughts are to complex to express. As rich as the English vocabulary may be, words can't express all.

I feel that this new year has a lot of potential for my family, my friends, and myself.
A lot of love to all of us.. xxx

cryptic.

As weeks pass by, mistakes are made.
13 days are too many.
Regret? Guilt? Love? Sorrow?
Fuck you infinity.
Fuck you herb.
Fuck you legen.. wait for it.. dary.
I love you rider.

It feels so wrong, yet so right.

we'll see each other soon, I promise ;)

Rain and Sunshine.

And so people make mistakes. Thursday my mistakes have been made; not severe ones. not ones that can hurt anyone's feelings in specific. but certainly mistakes that embarrassed me. But hey. Look on the bright(gold) side; I'm a Student and we Don't Care.

Friday night I had my first official Poweryoga class. My friend and me walked in thinking, we're going to do this, and succeed.
Completely unaware of the fact that you have to hold on to funky balancing positions for 5 minutes straight hereby keeping your breathing at a consistent rate, not having ur muscles shake, and by all means not fall down. It was hard! But soo much fun!
I came hom late, cooked dinner rapidly and had the best sleep I've had in a very very long time..
Saturday and Sunday I had to work.
Saturday afternoon passed by rather quickly. I was with my head in the clouds all day, and not only customers but even my boss realized. I felt like I was in another dimension and it rocked.
That night I also had a girl night out, dinner with the greatest deserts of all time (notice the plural). Sunday another day at work; this time more successful due to the down to earth feeling I got myself back in to.

As I went to bed sunday night though, I realized I would have issues waking up the next day. And I did.. the result: Sleeping through an entire lecture.. Appearently there is evidence as people were taking pictures..
Furthermore I've realized that going to the City Uni library is a blast. everyone just comes together there to chill, hang out, drink excessive amounts of coffee, and socialize while preparing for class/exams/essay/ and presentations.
Its certainly a ritual I will continue to embrace over the next few weeks.
Other than that everyone is already excited for xmas break, it's coming up so soon! I have double feelings about it though I've really learned to love this place and I think I might miss it a bit when I'm back in Barcelona. - wha. never thought thát would happen.

More updates will be there soon. Just 2 quick things.
1) Old habits die hard.
2) New habits are easy to get wound up in.

With all my love, k2

Cherry Blossoms-Tindersticks

-Saw a great movie last night in a really artsy cinema. This song made quite an impact on me.

Listen.

A black television screen
Snow white and black
Deep and open
Splashing against the windows
Looking out onto a three-terrace town
There's a garden, grey-green
And cherry blossoms
Get in in the morning (All seasons here, saved for a rainy day)
Climb in beside you (A part of a hole)
Watch the clock for half an hour (An orange and its peel)
It's cold on the outside
There's steam on the windows (A star in a night sky)
And I put myself there all the time (A gentle beauty)
You let me forget again
And I snore on and on
You let me forget again
Forget how it feels to be wrong
If I could show her completely (Funny how everything makes you feel low when you're already low)
But it comes so drunkardly now (Lying on the bed, the lightbulb banging down)
Fall over on my words (Get up, pull the sheet from the window, to see the rain still coming down)
That peace when the door slams (Downstairs there's hot coffee, sit down to a cigarette)
Soon shattered [ ? ] (Down to the filter, another and down to my last)
I came so well-oiled (Another and my last penny)
You let me forget again (4 a.m. 6 feet down. Already up with the larks)
And I came stumbling through
You let me forget again (4 a.m. 6 feet down. Already up with the larks)
Forget what I always knew

theworldis[bright]gold

So my promise took a while. But now; finally a post to update about what exactly is going on in Dutchland..
Without a doubt this week has been INSANE. Students really throw too many parties, meaning that a) you get less sleep than an IB student. and b) you seem to spend all ur money on (cheap) drinks[this accounts for a lot of alcohol so to say]
On Monday I went to 2 lectures which were really quite interesting and at night a friend came over for dinner because she wants to move in the second bedroom I have. Tuesday I went to the party called DoubleTrouble @ the Kadans which consists of 3 floors; basement with hardcore partying, the entrance floor with hop-hop and r&b, and an attic with places to chill [and order champagne]
The girls weren't up for making it late cuz we had class next morning at 11 but I decided to go anyway and tagged along with the boys.
Boy oh boy some things went down in Kadans.
Wednesday's tutorial was interesting as we all looked wonderfuly sleepy :) as a result of the night before I pretty much passed out after school bit was woken up by a phonecall to attend the "Tragos" party. Fine, one drink and then I'm going home. En fin, 2 drinks later I made it to bed at a reasonable time! Thursday night we went to a student bar with the girls, I ended up mAking a fool of myself or giving someone a massive ego boost with a texting adventure.. But that story is yet to be continued. Friday night Halloween party at the Highlander and Saturday morning a terribly early wake up to go to work. Work is amazing, the people are all extremely nice so I'm really enjoying that experience as well.
Right now I'm in my bed desperately wanting to gonto sleep, quite aware ofthe fact that this post has only focused on the Maastricht student parties. True fact. However, I must admit that they really are a blast and I've finally come to understand the meaning of the song "I love College".
I'm curious to find out "what things are too come" and what will make them "so fantastic". I do believe there is already one prediction I can make. But that is for you to find out in possible future posts ;)

The stripes on a tiger are hard to change.

With all my love to you reader[s], and my special someone in Spain[we wonder if he should know that theworldisgold]

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I'll be you. Let's trade shoes.

and so the world just gets a little more confusing.

-postponing never is the way to go, but I need to clear my mind before writing something down.