Raising Expectations. Self Reflection.

A long time since my last post, and boy.. things have changed.

As I write this I prepare for yet another adventure "on the road".
Tomorrow mid-day we shall travel in car from Barcelona to Amsterdam, making a pitstop in France for the night.
To be honest I'm not rather excited, I would've liked to spend a bit more time in Spain, doing the things
I really like doing; wondering around the city with Felipe, going for sushi, dancing the night away (nights and nights in a row) etc.
However, the thought of going back kind of excites me.. I'll be spending time with my old Dutch friends in Amsterdam until January 3rd, and the 4th I head back down South to reunite with my college friends to start the year off with dinner and drinks at my place so we can share Christmas stories..

As much as I appreciate movies, there is one thing I have discovered to dislike. Movies raise expectations. They make events, objects, people, anything really, look so wonderful that the real life moment of the certain thing is rather disappointing.
This happens with me and Christmas every single year. I have raised expectations (think of typical American movie Christmas Dinner's, snow all around, happiness, Big Big Christmas trees, Tons of presents etc.)
I'm not saying my Christmas wasn't wonderful, because I've appreciated every moment of it.. but it really isn't anything like it could be.

Furthermore I'm disappointed in myself as a person. Please excuse the negativeness (once again) in this post, but realize how when the end of the year is approaching self reflection is needed. Hence, this post will serve as a self-reflection..
As I moved to Holland, I promised myself I would not step away from my true self.. and I feel like I did. I've hurt someone that was, and still is, a very special person in my life. Even though we are still on good terms, my heart breaks little by little when thinking of how things could've been like. I do know now that things like these will never happen again. Never again will I act so selfishly for the sake of adventure, pleasure, self-discovery, or any other excuse there might have been for my behavior..
I am glad that I've been taught a bit more about myself.
Sometimes I wish we could allow someone to read our thoughts, because sometimes it feels like true thoughts are to complex to express. As rich as the English vocabulary may be, words can't express all.

I feel that this new year has a lot of potential for my family, my friends, and myself.
A lot of love to all of us.. xxx

cryptic.

As weeks pass by, mistakes are made.
13 days are too many.
Regret? Guilt? Love? Sorrow?
Fuck you infinity.
Fuck you herb.
Fuck you legen.. wait for it.. dary.
I love you rider.

It feels so wrong, yet so right.

we'll see each other soon, I promise ;)

Rain and Sunshine.

And so people make mistakes. Thursday my mistakes have been made; not severe ones. not ones that can hurt anyone's feelings in specific. but certainly mistakes that embarrassed me. But hey. Look on the bright(gold) side; I'm a Student and we Don't Care.

Friday night I had my first official Poweryoga class. My friend and me walked in thinking, we're going to do this, and succeed.
Completely unaware of the fact that you have to hold on to funky balancing positions for 5 minutes straight hereby keeping your breathing at a consistent rate, not having ur muscles shake, and by all means not fall down. It was hard! But soo much fun!
I came hom late, cooked dinner rapidly and had the best sleep I've had in a very very long time..
Saturday and Sunday I had to work.
Saturday afternoon passed by rather quickly. I was with my head in the clouds all day, and not only customers but even my boss realized. I felt like I was in another dimension and it rocked.
That night I also had a girl night out, dinner with the greatest deserts of all time (notice the plural). Sunday another day at work; this time more successful due to the down to earth feeling I got myself back in to.

As I went to bed sunday night though, I realized I would have issues waking up the next day. And I did.. the result: Sleeping through an entire lecture.. Appearently there is evidence as people were taking pictures..
Furthermore I've realized that going to the City Uni library is a blast. everyone just comes together there to chill, hang out, drink excessive amounts of coffee, and socialize while preparing for class/exams/essay/ and presentations.
Its certainly a ritual I will continue to embrace over the next few weeks.
Other than that everyone is already excited for xmas break, it's coming up so soon! I have double feelings about it though I've really learned to love this place and I think I might miss it a bit when I'm back in Barcelona. - wha. never thought thát would happen.

More updates will be there soon. Just 2 quick things.
1) Old habits die hard.
2) New habits are easy to get wound up in.

With all my love, k2

Cherry Blossoms-Tindersticks

-Saw a great movie last night in a really artsy cinema. This song made quite an impact on me.

Listen.

A black television screen
Snow white and black
Deep and open
Splashing against the windows
Looking out onto a three-terrace town
There's a garden, grey-green
And cherry blossoms
Get in in the morning (All seasons here, saved for a rainy day)
Climb in beside you (A part of a hole)
Watch the clock for half an hour (An orange and its peel)
It's cold on the outside
There's steam on the windows (A star in a night sky)
And I put myself there all the time (A gentle beauty)
You let me forget again
And I snore on and on
You let me forget again
Forget how it feels to be wrong
If I could show her completely (Funny how everything makes you feel low when you're already low)
But it comes so drunkardly now (Lying on the bed, the lightbulb banging down)
Fall over on my words (Get up, pull the sheet from the window, to see the rain still coming down)
That peace when the door slams (Downstairs there's hot coffee, sit down to a cigarette)
Soon shattered [ ? ] (Down to the filter, another and down to my last)
I came so well-oiled (Another and my last penny)
You let me forget again (4 a.m. 6 feet down. Already up with the larks)
And I came stumbling through
You let me forget again (4 a.m. 6 feet down. Already up with the larks)
Forget what I always knew

theworldis[bright]gold

So my promise took a while. But now; finally a post to update about what exactly is going on in Dutchland..
Without a doubt this week has been INSANE. Students really throw too many parties, meaning that a) you get less sleep than an IB student. and b) you seem to spend all ur money on (cheap) drinks[this accounts for a lot of alcohol so to say]
On Monday I went to 2 lectures which were really quite interesting and at night a friend came over for dinner because she wants to move in the second bedroom I have. Tuesday I went to the party called DoubleTrouble @ the Kadans which consists of 3 floors; basement with hardcore partying, the entrance floor with hop-hop and r&b, and an attic with places to chill [and order champagne]
The girls weren't up for making it late cuz we had class next morning at 11 but I decided to go anyway and tagged along with the boys.
Boy oh boy some things went down in Kadans.
Wednesday's tutorial was interesting as we all looked wonderfuly sleepy :) as a result of the night before I pretty much passed out after school bit was woken up by a phonecall to attend the "Tragos" party. Fine, one drink and then I'm going home. En fin, 2 drinks later I made it to bed at a reasonable time! Thursday night we went to a student bar with the girls, I ended up mAking a fool of myself or giving someone a massive ego boost with a texting adventure.. But that story is yet to be continued. Friday night Halloween party at the Highlander and Saturday morning a terribly early wake up to go to work. Work is amazing, the people are all extremely nice so I'm really enjoying that experience as well.
Right now I'm in my bed desperately wanting to gonto sleep, quite aware ofthe fact that this post has only focused on the Maastricht student parties. True fact. However, I must admit that they really are a blast and I've finally come to understand the meaning of the song "I love College".
I'm curious to find out "what things are too come" and what will make them "so fantastic". I do believe there is already one prediction I can make. But that is for you to find out in possible future posts ;)

The stripes on a tiger are hard to change.

With all my love to you reader[s], and my special someone in Spain[we wonder if he should know that theworldisgold]

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'll be you. Let's trade shoes.

and so the world just gets a little more confusing.

-postponing never is the way to go, but I need to clear my mind before writing something down.

and all i wanna do is go back.

And so 5 days in Barcelona passed by too quickly.

I'm very glad I got the chance to get away from Uni life and escape into the wonderful land

of what I call Home.

I got the chance to see my parents, my dogs, my friends and once again stroll around the city.

More than ever I appreciated the October sun- the Barna tiles on the streets- the Mirador views -

the blue blue sky- the coffee's with cigarettes (and the price thereof)- the giggles- the love times-

the Spanish attitude- Downtown- Uptown (apparently even there your wallet can be stolen)

- the boys on motorcycle (the one that tops them all being my boy)- (. . .)

"Each time i decide these feelings cant keep going on.
it`s just a matter of time before they come back twice as strong"

A more detailed, and less "blue" post about my time in Barcelona is upcoming.. for now this is it.

"Sometimes i feel like i'm in Barcelona
see anytime i hear this tune I just start drifting away
and all i wanna do is go back."

Things Come With Time. (XY)

In my life there have been various occasions where people have told me that "things come with time".

"Things" being the variable on the Y-axis.

Time being the obvious X-axis.

See now I don't do math, because it's not an interest of mine.. but I now do understand that the X-axis should always be your friend, your companion in whatever situation..

This week passed by reasonably fast, truth is; I had a blast. I hate to admit that because it would be so much easier to say that I didn't have fun considering the feelings I have about being in Holland..

I went out multiple times this week. I was invited to a birthday party and I met up with 5 other girls to head there together.. Turned out the birthday party was in a student location called MAKE. The night there started out with an amazing band on stage who would play any requested song live. They were truly amazing, even when we requested songs like "little wing" by Jimi Hendrix they just started playing as if it were their second nature to perform any kind of song.

The atmosphere was great, the drinks were delicious, and I met a bunch of nice people. For the first time since I've been here I witnessed random hook-ups between people in my class, flirtatious guys, and drunken sing-alongs. When the place closed at 3am. We were all still in party mode and decided to head to a club. The walk there was was cold, but very nice. As I was kept warm.

When walking home at 6am I realized I'd lost my voice, and still hadn't completed the Task for that days class. and it all felt good.

Next days class was funny because me and my 2 friends still had no voice. Class participation was somewhat difficult ;)

That night I had met up with one of my friends to go for dinner in this place called "Kiwi".. good girl bonding times, and after a delicious dessert (with for sure gazillions of calories) we headed to see Inglorious Bastards (finally!!!) great. great. movie. Props for the director, and the actors.

After that another bar adventure, and the next day I felt more than ready to start my first day at work!

This post is a very factional explanation of my week but there's so many emotions running through me right now that I don't really know how to write them down..

In 2 days I'm heading back home and I'm hoping to find things there just as I'd left them about a month ago.. Once again.. things come with time.. So we will see about that.

There was just one thing I wanted to mention. Dutch people just create such interesting slogans for their companies/bars.

Slogan of my gym: There is more to life than brains.

Slogan of Make!: Study hard. Party hardER.

A tiger never loses her stripes.

With love,

From me.

"I prefer the world Unclear."

Way too long since I wrote something, I apologize.

The last week has gone by so fast, I can't even believe it. I suppose that is a good thing though, because that means I'll be in Barcelona in no time too. Actually, I'll be there in 6 days. I'm so excited that I feel like bouncing whenever I think about it (you may all understand that these days I happen to bounce a lot)

Besides the Barcelona happiness, I'm doing my full best to adapt to life in Holland. It's getting colder every day now, and the weatherman said it's going to freeze tonight and tomorrow night! Oh boy. Oh boy. As I went grocery shopping yesterday I realized that my big headphones now function as earmuffs as well, which is quite nice because normal earmuffs don't provide music :)

And so it's me bouncing through the city with my headphonemuffs on rocking the sidewalk..

Because I have very little class, and am in fact only working on a final paper due next thursday (which I will hand in Monday because I will be inBARCELONA then) I decided to embrace the student life a little more, and find myself a part time job. That way, I'll get to meet people, be busy, and make some money. It turned out luck was on my side, because I walked in the store without a job, and walked out with. My first day of work is saturday! I can't wait!

Furthermore I got inaugurated with my student association last night. When I first arrived here I was completely against student associations because I was of the opinion it's a lame way of meeting friends. However, I decided to check one out (an International one where all the exchange/foreigners go to) and I realized I made a click with most people there. Hence, I did join one. Hence, the inauguration.

We received a diploma (because we successfully survived the introduction period), a silver keychain which is also a beer bottle opener (Dutch people and their fucking beers.), and a condom with on the packing a label that says: "A safe way to penetrate Europe".

In any case, everyone was very welcoming and the night was pretty fun.

In addition to school, meeting friends, grocery shopping and my job, I also am a firm believer in going to the gym. I've done my first spinning class, which unfortunately wasn't as exciting as my classes in Barcelona used to be.. But they do have this work-out machine which imitates ice-skating and works your abdominals and booty. Obviously it is this machine that is obsessively used by the girls. We keep on hoping that maybe next summer we will look good in our bikini's. Its all about having faith, or, as one of my friends would say; "Living in GaGa Land."

Well, excuse me, but I happen to pleasantly live in gaga land. In the book i'm currently re-reading (again) the protagonists meets a girl that should technically wear glasses but states to him that she "prefers the world unclear".

As a matter of fact, living in gaga-land, or living in an unclear world is maybe just the way to go. It is in my situation. I like it.

It is for this reason that we glamorously glide (or occasionally bounce) through the city at each step reminding ourselves that "a tiger never loses her stripes".

I do not aspire to be Worlds' most amazing video director. But I do love my friends.

I wanna hurry home to you put on a slow, dumb show for you

The National - Slow Show

"I wanna hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I’m very, very frightening
I’ll overdo it

You know I dreamed about you
for twenty-nine years before I saw you
You know I dreamed about you
I missed you for
for twenty-nine years"

Gold.

Malboro has a new design. GOLD.
theworldisgold

We just slide, Through this thing called life

So it's been a while since I last gave some updates on life in Maastricht.

Having had more classes I've realized that I made the right decision studying European Law.

The program is amazing, it truly is a lot of work, but the sporadic class hours make up for that because I have a lot of time to work on the assignments I missed by coming in late and the ones they are passing out now.

The lifestyle does continue to be completely different than in Barcelona, whereas before I enjoyed the girly girl party scene, I now have no other choice than to join the what I like to call "down to earth binge drinking". It's not really like that, but the speed at which Dutch people can drink keeps on surprising me. (Not forgetting to mention I'm not a fan of beer.)

Whereas before the social code included wearing stiletto's and flattering dresses, any type of casual clothing is accepted here.

There is a lot to say about the liberal attitude of Holland, but having been here for 2 weeks I realize that they really are a very accepting country.

Because my apartment is located in the same area as most bars where students go (as a matter of fact theres 2 in my street) I love just sitting in my window late at night, smoking a cigarette observing students stumble home with their beer bottles in their hands, cheering songs laughing enjoying life.

I'm curious to know what life here will bring, and as I was told "never look back".

I'll take that with a grain of salt, because an important part of my life is still in Barcelona.

I guess the stripes on a tiger truly never change.

Missing It.

All Along the Watchtower

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view

- Jimi Hendrix


A tiger never loses her stripes

My Way or The High Way

I realized it's been almost a week since my last post. Felipe told me he liked to keep his blog interesting by using different types of posts, and I actually quite liked that idea. However, because my life feels like a highway right now I'll write one long ordinary post, and then try to get creative ;)

I've attended my first class at uni (after walking into the wrong class about.. 2 times? due to a mistake on my schedule..)

The way I actually found my class by walking up to some guys that seemed to be my age and asking them what class they were going to; it turned out to be Legal English which is exactly the class I was heading for. The tutor (they don't say teacher anymore :( ) is rad, she's a lawyer from New York and now is a part time tutor / lawyer in Maastricht. After 30 min of class this guy came running in, and he brought chocolate for our teacher because he was late. I loved it how when she asked why he was late he simply said he spent the night in jail because he got arrested on the streets when he was drunk and didn't carry his ID with him. The tutor just burst out laughing and told him to go sit down..

The guy actually turned out to be in my group for an assignment and he made me realize that in every single class theres always that "one person"..

Besides school I've been setting up my apartment :) Its literally 200 meters away from my Faculty and I can walk anywhere I want to, It's my little palace.

I actually don't want to make this post too long simply because it'll get boring. Hence, a crappy post. sorry about that.

a tiger never loses her stripes.

with love,

Kathelijne.

tequiero

Last Minute Check-In

Packing you're entire life into only 2 suitcases each weighing no more than 10 kilos is a hard task.

Packing was absolute hell; I started off thinking "Ok, I'll bring only those things I truly will need and use in Holland", however, that sphere of thought lasted about 10 min. after that, I pretty much was determined to bring everything with you. Yes, that does include bikini's, summer dresses, summer shorts, tank tops, and shirts I hadn't worn in about 3 years, all this because "you never know when you might need it".

My last night in Barcelona was exactly the way I'd hoped for it to be, I went for dinner in my favorite area of Barcelona around the streets Santaló, Maria Cubí, and Muntaner. I'm not sure if it actually is my favorite area, but I've spend so much time there that I've learned to appreciate all the little restaurants and bars of the neighborhood. After dinner we strolled around for a couple of hours while talking about the the past, the present, and the future: chain-smoking. obviously.

The night ended at my house, and some tears were shed.

I'd gotten 2 hours of sleep when my mom actually came to wake me up, it was time to leave. Because I'm moving to Maastricht, a city in the Southern tip of holland we decided to fly from Girona and go straight there, rather than having to drive 2.5 hrs from Amsterdam to Maastricht.

We flew with Ryanair. As soon as we got there (I was still a bit sleepy) I was overwhelmed by the amount of people that were at the airport. People flying to Liverpool, Manchester and various other locations we're all stressing because most flights were at almost the same time and everyone was in a massive rush. Luckily our flight was called out to get a "Last Minute ChecK-In" so we avoided the queues. Sambo's theory about the usefulness of arriving fashionably late has once again been proved to be correct. ;)

Maastricht is a beautiful city. I didn't expect too much of it because I'd only been there twice before when I was a little girl, and barely remembered anything except for that the Maas River divides the city into 2 parts. The buildings are very nice, and the the city has a somewhat French flair to it. There are many café's, restaurants, shops, parks, and plaza's, and all have the same decadent style.

Firstly, I can't wait to get to know the city, find a place to live, start school, and most importantly meet new people.

Secondly, I can't wait to come back to Barcelona to visit <3>

A tiger never loses her stripes.

we'll be fine and dandy

"What's your road, man?--holyboy road, madman road, rainbow road, guppy road, any road. It's an anywhere road for anybody anyhow."

- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

In exactly one day I will take a different road. After many internal debates I've finally decided to step out of my comfort zone in Barcelona and go to university in Holland. Everything may actually turn out "fine and dandy"

I'm excited, nervous, but also sad. European Law is what I will be dedicating myself to for the next 4 years.

Ok, enough with the melodramatic notices. The climate here has changed, and as it did, I realized I'm never fully satisfied with the weather anyway. Mid-August I was one of the people whining saying it was "too hot". And now that it has finally cooled down I'm one of those saying that, "it is supposed to still be summer". Despite that, I realized that I've had really good times in both hot and cold weather so it truly doesn't really matter at all.

Before starting a blog I could have never imagined writing random thoughts down. I mean, lets be real: no one cares about how I feel about the weather.

The last couple of days, or weeks for that matter, have been very different. At times I feel like a mature female going through menopauze. Opinions, ideas, feelings, anything. It can change 180º within a split second.

Yesterday I went for dinner in CDLC, one of the best dinners I've had in a long time: sushi, wine, cigarette's, laughs, serious conversations, sparks, dancemoves, and coctails they were all present. I had a really good time, and it certainly will be these nights I'll miss most when I'm in Holland.

Today I ran across the city. I went to school to get my diploma, had a chat with some teachers, and said 'see you later' to Felipe, I'm sure I'll see him again soon so a goodbye wasn't necessary.

The rest of my afternoon was spent with several key people in my life. One in specific. Good times.

I'm excited for tomorrow-

My next blog entry will be more entertaining and not quite so random I reckon - I'll probably write it from Holland..

Remember though; a tiger never loses its stripes..